some days are rougher than others

[joegoda]

My brother Sam moved today. Or moved partially. He called me about 11 am to give him a hand, and of course, how could I refuse. Family is family.

I found that today, I could not move as well as I would have liked. I was more tired than I should have been. I only lasted for about 3 hours. I don't know what is wrong. Maybe I just need sleep. Sometimes I worry I'm getting older.

Course, it was also a rather rough day emotionally for me. Old ghosts kept popping up. I watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and for some reason, I just started crying. No particular thing in the movie should have had that effect. It came unbidden, it came without thought. It just came, like an unwelcome guest carrying black roses.

I'm just writing it down here for the same reason that everyone else writes things down here. Not necessarily for sympathy, though I'm sure that motive is there. Not necessarily for anyone to even respond to. Just cuz I feel like writing it down, and so, I do. I'm at 70 thousand words on my novel, I don't feel like writing in it anymore, so I come here to write. To communicate, even if it's just archived so I can go back and read it sometime in the distant future.

Money's in short supply, but hell, that's normal for just bout everyone. So is comfort, but I suspect that's pretty much average too. Aw well. Not every night was meant to be joyous. Some nights were just made for Coffee, Contemplation, Adjustment and Acceptance.

James, old baby bro, I still miss you.

Comments

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

My dearest Lady, I do indeed appreciate the offer. Orange is one of my favorite colors, one of my favorite smells, one of my favorite tastes when it comes in the form of sherbet or dreamsicles. The fruit though has an odd effect on me. I can chew it, but I can't swallow it. It's a psychological thing that I developed after the age of 5, because I definitely remember getting oranges and tangerines in my Christmas stocking and just loving them. Know, though, that I take it as it is meant and not the literal meaning. I had to chuckle though, knowing your love for the color and the fruit. You are a dear.