![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thoughts in my life.. my autobiography
Aug. 7th, 2004 05:35 pmIt started. I’ve had dreams where I stood with my arms spread, overlooking a valley from a high cliff. I saw lights from houses, the movement of automobiles in the streets, but from far away and high up. And I was crying for loss. The loss of what, I had no idea.
I’ve had dreams where I was constantly on the move, from one town to another, sometimes not even a town, but a village, a farmhouse, places that were odd and unusual. Constantly on the move because, in the dreams, I was being chased by members of some group that wanted me. What they wanted, I have only the vaguest idea. They wanted some… ability that I had. They wanted to know what it was, and how to control it.
I’ve had dreams of being strapped into a chair, tortured till I passed out to find out my secrets.
In dreams, I’ve been shot, stabbed, fallen to my death, run over by a truck, crushed by a train. And I’m still here.
There is a place in my dreams that I can go to, if they still let me in. It’s a place of comfort, and it’s a little bit scary too. In this place, this little village in a hidden valley, everyone knows me. I work above a blacksmiths shop, and though everyone there knows what I do, I’m still not sure.
I had a family there once, I know that.
I have walked to the village by way of a field, which leads to the farthest back road. I have gotten there through a secret alley in an amusement park. I have seen a train yard not far away, and I’ve gone through an emerald green grotto and come up into my room above the Blacksmith’s shop.
If, just before I go to sleep, I imagine walking down the street of this village, admiring the old English buildings, with their second story balconies and windows, if I can feel the stones under my feet as I walk, if I can smell the bread from the bakery, then I know that I will eventually fall asleep and wake up in this village.
It’s not a place I can definitively tell you about. But it’s a place that I can feel in my heart.
This leads to a thought…
What if when we dream.. and I’m not talking about the ordinary dreams where you work out events and frustrations of the day.. what if when we dream incredibly vivid dreams, dreams so real that you swear you are there, that we actually are. That for a brief moment in time and space, we trade places with another self that already lives where ever the dream takes us.
I’ve had a dream that even supported this. Here’s the dream, or as much as I can remember.
In some dreams, I can fly by running very fast and letting the momentum carry me up into the air. In this dream, that’s what I’m doing. I’m flying. At a Science fiction convention. Lenord Nimoy and William Shatner are both there, and for some reason, I’m flying around them, just being a pest. Not the sort of pest asking for an autograph, but the sort that just flys in and holds conversation, just as if I’ve known them all my life.
Something distracts me, and I tell them that I have to leave… that an emergency has come up and I need to take care of it. I fly very high up and that’s when I wake up.
In my dreams, I can think fairly clearly. In real life, I probably hear about 90 percent of my thoughts.. a lot of sub vocalization goin on, you bet. I once asked in college if anyone else can hear themselves think. About 10 percent of the class said they could. This made me feel better, because I’ve always felt like some sort of a freak. Even now.
In the flying dream, with Nimoy and Shatner, I remember thinking, “Ok partner, here’s where we trade. I need some of your strength”, or some such. But the concept that came through is this:
We have the ability to access the strength of ourselves in other worlds, other places… the dream places. But, we have to be aware of each other… they have to know me, and I have to know them.
See, the concept goes on to say that, because the different selves have grown up in different environments, each of the selves has different abilities and capabilities. Like flying. Course, I don’t imagine flying would work in my current place, because it’s just not socially recognized as being possible, so much so that there is a grain of doubt in my head if I could do it. And it’s that doubt that makes it improbable for me.
Now, by joining forces, by entering into each other’s bodies, through the dream state, it’s possible to merge the abilities and capabilities of the selves and become greater than the sum of the parts.
Kind of a weird thought, huh?
I’ve had dreams where I was constantly on the move, from one town to another, sometimes not even a town, but a village, a farmhouse, places that were odd and unusual. Constantly on the move because, in the dreams, I was being chased by members of some group that wanted me. What they wanted, I have only the vaguest idea. They wanted some… ability that I had. They wanted to know what it was, and how to control it.
I’ve had dreams of being strapped into a chair, tortured till I passed out to find out my secrets.
In dreams, I’ve been shot, stabbed, fallen to my death, run over by a truck, crushed by a train. And I’m still here.
There is a place in my dreams that I can go to, if they still let me in. It’s a place of comfort, and it’s a little bit scary too. In this place, this little village in a hidden valley, everyone knows me. I work above a blacksmiths shop, and though everyone there knows what I do, I’m still not sure.
I had a family there once, I know that.
I have walked to the village by way of a field, which leads to the farthest back road. I have gotten there through a secret alley in an amusement park. I have seen a train yard not far away, and I’ve gone through an emerald green grotto and come up into my room above the Blacksmith’s shop.
If, just before I go to sleep, I imagine walking down the street of this village, admiring the old English buildings, with their second story balconies and windows, if I can feel the stones under my feet as I walk, if I can smell the bread from the bakery, then I know that I will eventually fall asleep and wake up in this village.
It’s not a place I can definitively tell you about. But it’s a place that I can feel in my heart.
This leads to a thought…
What if when we dream.. and I’m not talking about the ordinary dreams where you work out events and frustrations of the day.. what if when we dream incredibly vivid dreams, dreams so real that you swear you are there, that we actually are. That for a brief moment in time and space, we trade places with another self that already lives where ever the dream takes us.
I’ve had a dream that even supported this. Here’s the dream, or as much as I can remember.
In some dreams, I can fly by running very fast and letting the momentum carry me up into the air. In this dream, that’s what I’m doing. I’m flying. At a Science fiction convention. Lenord Nimoy and William Shatner are both there, and for some reason, I’m flying around them, just being a pest. Not the sort of pest asking for an autograph, but the sort that just flys in and holds conversation, just as if I’ve known them all my life.
Something distracts me, and I tell them that I have to leave… that an emergency has come up and I need to take care of it. I fly very high up and that’s when I wake up.
In my dreams, I can think fairly clearly. In real life, I probably hear about 90 percent of my thoughts.. a lot of sub vocalization goin on, you bet. I once asked in college if anyone else can hear themselves think. About 10 percent of the class said they could. This made me feel better, because I’ve always felt like some sort of a freak. Even now.
In the flying dream, with Nimoy and Shatner, I remember thinking, “Ok partner, here’s where we trade. I need some of your strength”, or some such. But the concept that came through is this:
We have the ability to access the strength of ourselves in other worlds, other places… the dream places. But, we have to be aware of each other… they have to know me, and I have to know them.
See, the concept goes on to say that, because the different selves have grown up in different environments, each of the selves has different abilities and capabilities. Like flying. Course, I don’t imagine flying would work in my current place, because it’s just not socially recognized as being possible, so much so that there is a grain of doubt in my head if I could do it. And it’s that doubt that makes it improbable for me.
Now, by joining forces, by entering into each other’s bodies, through the dream state, it’s possible to merge the abilities and capabilities of the selves and become greater than the sum of the parts.
Kind of a weird thought, huh?
