and of course.. I bounce BACK!

[joegoda]

There is something about having things taken away that is liberating. I mean, it's not that we don't get pissed off and pissy. It's just that when the darkness clears out, and the sunshine breaks through.. or moonlight, your choice, perspective breaks through and if you're lucky, the Truth of WHAT IS HAPPENING hits you like a slow train.

Now, this year, I feel I've lost:
Love
Brother
Car
SelfRespect
Love
Friendship
Camera
Job
Job
Job

And tons of socks, .. but that's normal. I'm sure this list is longer, but why dwell.. here's the point:

We can't really lose Love. We can misplace it, but inevitably it's still there, though hidden and buried. It can die, but I don't see how. Not love. Maybe Like can fade, maybe lust will die, maybe In Love can turn, but not Love. Immortal and indestructible.

Brother James died. He won't be back, but he's never really gone. He's on the outside, looking in. So.. mourning though the process continues (how yoda, huh?), I know that he's still there.. somewhere.

Friendship.. Yep.. gone. or at least diminished to the point of who really cares. Being polite is not the way to nurture friendships.. it's the way to keep one country from trying to kill another.

SelfRespect. Hell's bell's. I've lost and found and lost and found and lost and found and lost and found it soo many times that when I lose it, I know exactly where to look to find it. My Ego is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to big to beat myself for to long.

So, the list is now:
Car
Friendship
Camera
Job
Job
Job

I suspect the friendship is there, just incredibly muted to the whisper one hears as a neutrino passes. (If you think it's you, think again.. and ASK dammit.. no more playing around, you kids.. straight questions.. and NO, I'm not sleeping with anyone's wife, husband, brother, sister, cousin, uncle or aunt.. I have a book next to me in bed, and that's my companion, thank you very much)

so that just leaves
Car
Camera
Job
Job
Job

Things.

Burdens.

Replaceable.

So.. what's the big deal? I'm loved, I'm warm, I'm fed, Life is good. And dammit, So ARE YOU!

One day of self pity is all anyone should waste on it. Then get on with living, or get on with dying. your choice.

Love you all, (even the new one..)

CjB
House of the Singing Waters

Comments

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but see.. there's a lesson in Self Pity. It helps us get over grief and pain by wallowing in it. The trick is to wallow REALLY GOOD, then let it go, rather than becoming the wallow yourself. Once you walk away, you can look at it like an old skin and recognise it for what it is.. an old skin