joegoda: (chethead)
How do you wrap up more than half a life with someone? How to you even begin to talk about the laughter, the tears, the joy, the anger? I haven't touched upon the grief I feel because there just doesn't seem to be time in my life right now. It'll happen, but it's a boxed thing, waiting to be unwrapped when it it.

Linda, my ex wife, died seven days ago. She had been in and out of hospitals for months, and, according to her son, she had been very ill, having screaming fits in the night.

I don't want to think about these things.
Sad things back here )
She got home on July 23rd to rest after her hospital visit. On the morning of July 24th, the hospice nurse went to check in on her. She was gone.

I have a lot of things in me. Anger comes to mind the first - at her son, who didn't take care of her - or maybe he tried but couldn't. I don't know. I'm way, way angry at him, but what good would that do? Sadness is second, or maybe first. It's a big ol' sadness with shaking shoulders and eyes that will never dry. Sometimes it's so muddled up. I do know this: I miss my friend. I miss her a lot.

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joegoda

June 2022

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