And now.. a short break

[joegoda]

I took a day off today. Not for any particular reason, but I had been feeling kinda crappy for about 3 days. Somehow I knew that today would be a bit worse than normal. Course I was wrong. I felt the normal sort of crappy that comes bout this time of year.. sinuses, scratchy throat.. that sort of thing.

So I took this break from writing too. I don't know if I'll go back and start typing before the end of the evening or not.

And I decided to take a break from smoking as well. LadyH, and Esme777 are trying hard, and after having read what The Bruce said last week on one of their pages sorta got me thinking.. so I decided to quit.

So Here I am, engaged in the most curious argument with myself. I can see where some psychosis can be directly link with lying to yourself. All I can say is 'Damn, I'm good!'. Course at this stage, any mention of walking down to the store is highly suspect, because I just have this idea that no matter what I'll talk myself into buying a pack of those incredibly expensive things.

I know that I'm going to catalogue this experience and use it somewhere in some story about addiction, cuz it's about to reach that stage of being humorus.

For those of you that have actually gone through this, my cap is off to you. To those of you who are going through it right now, you ain't alone.

It does give me a heck of lot good dialog!

Comments

[ladyh.livejournal.com]

IF we ALL accomplish this hell is indeed about to freeze over ;->
But yes, a lot that a lot of people has said has made me think, ain't quit, but working hard to cut back and soon as I can see the doc, it's patch time.
love and good luck, as always

[ladyegreen.livejournal.com]

*listens in on your inner dialog* O.o

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

I always have heard bout the inner child, and I thought I had pretty much been in touch with it, but tonight.. hmmm You know that discussion you had bout spanking? It was trying all sorts of coniving stories, like.. we'll just go for a walk, drop by the store and pick up some hard candy.. yeah, that's what we need. Course, the more adult side said 'Oh, sure! I'll bet.. we'll start with hard candy, and when we get up to the counter, the enablers behind the register will automatically have the brand we smoke(d) waiting and ready for us, and do you think we'll have the strength of will to go "No Thanks, I'm quitting!".... NOT.' Much as I would love to puff out my chest and say Neither wind nor rain nor snow nor sleet nor dark of night will cause me to smoke, I know me better than that. I LOVE temptation, it's the one thing I can't refuse.

Now, if you want to hear some really good inner dialog, drop by and watch me work on this Kockamamie story I'm working on. Such an arguement I have sometimes...