It could be said

[joegoda]

That she was an absolute wonderful mother. She made special cakes for birthdays, and was the den mother for a pack of rowdy cub sprouts, she sewed costumes for plays that never quite went as planned and was the greatest cheerleader when things went well and the most marvelous physician of the soul when things went ill.

It could also be said that it was she about whom the phrase "When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was a terror"

And while all this is true, one inescapable fact remained. For good or ill, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, she was my mother.

Rest now, momma. You'll be missed, but by god! You finally made it out. Tell Jamie and Dad and Gary hello and I miss them, okay. Tell 'em I'm sorry I can't be there, but that's not my fate, as you well know, you old psychic you.

Betty Jo Goda Beebe passed through the veil earlier today, Oct 31st, 2009, after eating a breakfast of biscuits and gravy. She walked a new trail, blazed a new path and took a different road after a brief nap.

She always loved Halloween, and now she and Harry Houdini share a date. 'Night, Mom. I'll see you in my dreams.

Comments

[mljm.livejournal.com]

Peace and love to you. Not coming up with any words right now, but know my heart is with you.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Missy. She wasn't the greatest parent in the world, but for me, she was the greatest mom.

And really, Peace and Love... What Better words can possibly be said in the entire English Language?

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Oh, my dear. I am sorry for your loss, but hopeful she has passed as peacefully as possible. I am glad her pain is ended.

Love to you, my dear Uncle. If there is anything you need from me, you need only say the word.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

I need you to be you, darlin niece. I need you to know with all your heart that you are an incomparable person, full of so much love and energy and that you are loved back as fiercely and strongly as you give it and sometimes moreso. The delivery may not be exactly as is wished, but the feelings are there and the sentiment is just as strong.

[tapestry01.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I am so sorry.
If there's anything I can do, let me know.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Heck, chum... you been through this fairly recently. Tain't nuthin to be done except be who you are. I'm going to go usher tonight. Tomorrow is pub. I'll raise a glass then. Right now, I'm watching the Hulk and gonna drink a pale ale.

[aoifemacewen.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean about not being the greatest parent in the world, but being the greatest mom. Truely I do.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

I know you understand, Twin, and I appreciate it. The tears haven't started yet... too much business to take care of. Tomorrow, we can raise a glass to those who have gone on ahead.

[shackrlu.livejournal.com]

{{{HUGS}}} I love you my friend, I'm here if you need me, you know that.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Sam and I talked bout it. I know you might not agree, but I think mom and dad would. We're gonna let the nursing home take care of the details, not have a public interment or service. When the world is warmer (mom always liked spring and fall), we'll go to the gave site (which is why I believe graves are important, dammit!) and hold our own goodbyes in private. We'll pour a Pabst over the plot, tell her we love her, and say our goodbyes. It'll be in the spring, I think, and we can go camping at Turkey Run. You know in the Beebe family (and the Goda as well, for that matter) that business always came first... you take care of the living, and let the dead bury the dead.

I got a six of an ale that I've never had. I think I'll drink a few.

[capi.livejournal.com]

*reads this all closely and tries REAL HARD to get some sense of how her lil' brother is doing*

Somehow, you don't seem devastated to me. I had a feeling that last trip home would be the last one, and maybe you did too? And you have a pretty clear idea about the whole life-n-death thing, i think, too....

But still... how *are* you feeling, my friend? Tell me true. Not how you SHOULD be feeling, not how rational things are... how are you FEELING?

*sits down beside you and waits with a cold beer just for you*

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Last July, when I went to see her, I sat by her bedside. The person I talked to was only partly mom... Mom had been in and out of her body for a year or more, and only partly came back to check in. I held her hand and said "Mom, I don't understand, truly I don't. You've been trapped in this bed for the last 10 years and more. You're either the dumbest person or the bravest person or both I've ever known. I want you to know," I told her, "that if you decided to move on, to check out, to die, Sam and I would be okay. Hell, it's something we've been expecting for the last five or more years. So, it's okay. Move on when you're ready."

She smiled at me, and for a very brief moment, I had the same mom that made the Lincoln shaped cake for the scouts blue and gold ceremony back home nearly 50 years ago. We both shed a tear or two and I hugged her. She never said anything during the visit that I can remember. Maybe she asked how Sam and his wife were doing, I don't know. Seems she did. but she didn't talk much of anything.

I told her how her old homestead, the farm she was raised on was doing. I told her the house was still there, and being used by a farm couple, while the folks who bought it lived way out in the north 40 in a big old rambling two story house.

Aw, sis... I talked to her for three hours straight and more that day, when I only expected to spend an hour. I talked and talked and talked about Jamie and Sam and Gary and talked about my childhood and how she came through for us, even when she wasn't at her best. And she did, you know? Always, always come through for us. She could be dead stinking drunk, but when the chips were down, she was right there, fighting hell and gone to protect us from harm.

Three hours passed like water down the river, and I wished I could have had more. I don't like nursing homes, but that day the nursing home vanished and it was just Mom and me, talking like old times, like when we would take the two mile walk to the bookstore, talking bout anything from music to art to quantum physics (which she didn't understand then, but I bet she does now). She never lost interest in what we boys were doing, even after the divorce devastated her.

I could ramble on and on and on. You want to know how I'm doing... I'm fine, sis. I didn't know it was the last time, truly. It has been the 'last' time so many times. I just know I enjoyed being with her last July. I've got tears, of course, and I'm a bit sad. I 'spect to see her ghost tonight, because she was always a spooky old lady. Very spiritual, and very much open to EVERYthing.

So, I may be a bit sad, but I'm glad, honey. So glad that Mom is out and about again, running and giving Gary hell for his drinking and drug abuse. I'm glad that she's painting and singing off key and listening to the classics and her Frank. I'm so glad that she's free again, and not confined to a bed and a colostomy bag. I will miss her, but always carry her in my head and heart. She was the best mom I could have wanted, because she made me the person I am now, which brings me such friends and loved ones as you.

The child is the reflection of the parent.

[capi.livejournal.com]

i figured it wasn't ALL about sad, not after all this time in that bed. And as you say, she's free. *smiles* Altho' i doubt she's giving Gary hell about his abuses, cuz he's free, too. It's all good, now. They'll all be there now, waiting for you 'n Sam. *heh* Too bad. You 'n Sam got stuff to do!!

((( hug )))

I remember all you told me. A complex thing, the relationship one has with their mom. I remember. So the feelings, well, they will be complex too.

I'm here, bro. And yeah, she prolly is, too. *heh*

[shackrlu.livejournal.com]

I brought clothes to change into in case you want to go out tonight and lift a glass. Whatever will help you.

[huggle-bunni.livejournal.com]

*huggles* I'm sorry honey... sorry doesn't help much as well I know, but I've got a shoulder if'n you need it.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Being there helps more than you know. The Tenant of this family is "Pain shared lessens, Joy Shared increases." Remember that, young lady. Hold it and keep it for those times when you need it. Nobody stands alone in this family.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks Charity. The peace we feel will come because of the peace my mom is now in. I'm sad and glad at the same time.

Bless her heart, now she can soar like your birds do. Now she can run like she did as a child. There are no boundaries for her any more.

[ladyegreen.livejournal.com]

*Gives your forehead a sad kiss.*

You've my love and my care.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thank you Peddler. You are my Peddler and my joy. Love you very much!

[alliesutherland.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, hon. My thoughts are with you.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but save some thoughts for you and yours! My family believed strongly in taking care of the living first and foremost.

[the-jenny-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Chet.

My phone is on and I'm here if you need me.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Aw, I got Shannon, but I appreciate you so much. We ate chinese (my first in home delivery ever!), watched the Hulk and she tried to talk me out of going to work today.

[tarsa.livejournal.com]

***HUGGS***

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks Tarsa. Hugs are always, always appreciated.

[journiey.livejournal.com]

Hugs . I'm So, So Sorry For Your Loss, Glad Her Passing Was Easy And That She Is Free From Her Pain, And....And....And....

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thank you honey. I have a friend Shannon that I think you would like. She's quite adventurous, so who know? Maybe she'll convince me to come visit. I think I'd like that very much to come visit you.

[journiey.livejournal.com]

I'd Like That Too.

[kitwench.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - I am so sorry for your loss...

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Kit. It has been an interesting adventure. Perhaps I'll share it someday. Her passing was not a Bad thing, just a sad thing, and in truth, not even that sad. She was looking for that door for a very, very long time.

[bountifulpots.livejournal.com]

Love you and thinking about you. Hugging you virtually and intend to do so in person when next I see you. If there's anything else I can do from this distance, all you need do is ask.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Then I ask you to consider yourself. Think of your interactions with your loved ones. Think of how important you are. Do so without hesitation, without reservation and without ego. YOU are important, even though we are taught to ignore that importance or to take that importance and make it small. YOU are important, even though we have been taught that we aren't really. - That's the lie of raising. It's the lie of a society that wishes to protect itself from itself and keep the status quo.

YOU are important. You have more love in you and to you than you allow yourself to see or recognize. YOU have no idea how important you are, and that is the way it should be. We should NOT know the depth of our importance, but we should be aware of it. YOU are important. Purely and Simply.

[starseeking.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear about this brother dear. My heart goes out to you. Comfort chum...comfort. *hug*

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks Kevin! It was a good thing, though a sad thing. Hugs will be given next time we meet.

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

Just got back online and saw this. I offer condolences to you and your blood family, and hugs and a shoulder to cry on if/when you need one.

I am thinking about you tonight.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Becky. It was my mom and dad that taught me to love the classics, as well as the Big Band sound. Knowing you're part of my family is a dear, dear help to me, because you are music.

[thebruce.livejournal.com]

Ditto, just now saw this. Strength to you and yours as you mourn, in whatever form it may take.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Bruce. Morning for us Farm Kids is different, I think, than is it for city dwellers. Life and death are cycles, and though it may be sad to lose someone, it's not a sad leaving. She's at peace and free and wherever she is, if she's in a wherever, I do believe she's having a marvelous and adventurous time.

[motherpockets.livejournal.com]

Sounds a lot like my mother in some ways. I am sorry for your loss.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Mom. She was a pip, for sure and true.

[ladyariyana.livejournal.com]

{{{{hugs}}}

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear. Much appreciated. Family is incredibly important, all the time.

[magdaleneseal.livejournal.com]

Oh my friend..So sorry for your loss..but I do understand about her being the greatest mom- because she was *your* mother. Love to you and your family during this time of transition. Virtual hug now and more to come when I see you in person next time..

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Shae. I'm looking forward to seeing you folks this weekend. Seems like I'm moving in a new direction, which never really surprises me.

If you see Star, pass her my condolences as well.