joegoda | it's like... wow, man.

Tonight at Pub night was... wow. It was one of those times when, for a sustained note, I absolutely loved everyone there. It was one of those times that I had been told was impossible by at least one person, and felt, in my heart of hearts that it could, maybe happen.

I wanted to make soft gentle and mad passionate love to pretty darn much everyone at the table, and I suspect, in a sense, I did. I felt at times that there wasn't enough of my heart to go around, but then again it worked out that there didn't have to be. It went around anyway. I touched and I was touched everyone there, and it was a glad sharing, brightly and with much beauty.

The answer to the unasked question is yes, in a heart beat, in a New York minute, as long as it was a slow measured heart beat and a New York minute where Dick Clark is counting down the New Year.

The response is thank you for sending the image of what you were describing to me. I've played with that fabric before and it does exactly what you describe. The amazing thing is the you did it mind to mind, which is the very first time it has ever been done with me by someone other than me. It's very cool that this happened, because it was unexpected, and something I had been hoping for.

There is a scene in Stranger in a Strange land. It is a scene which has always been one that I identified with forever and a day. It's where Michael is describing watching the apes at the zoo, and he suddenly understands mankind. He can't stop laughing when it hits him, the emotion is so strong We are, he says incredibly tragic and yet incredibly strong.

Tonight, I get it. Intellectually, I've always known what I know to be true. That there are people and pockets of people who, though no mechanization of their own, will join together and create a family, a group, a... an entity. Intellectually, I've known this to be true. Emotionally, I never quite got it. But then, let's face it... emotionally, I've always been a bit retarded.

Tonight I got it. Tonight my heart was over full. I could babble on forever about what this means to me, and what sort of changes the realization might mean IN me, but I'll just end up boring myself way before I bore you. I don't know how long this will last, to be honest. I'm hoping it'll last until I am nothing more on this earth but dust.

But for now, and now is all any of us have, I got it. And by gum, it's something to hold on to.

Thanks, kids. Where would I be without you?