BP&G - The Mad Wizard

[joegoda]

"Yeah, so why is it called a crowbar?" Bags was asking.

"Look," said Zeb, "it's like I told you. Things get named for all sorts of odd reasons." He hefted the bar and looked at it. "Maybe it's because the claw looks like a crow's foot. I dunno why it's called a crowbar"

"Pockets would know." Bags muttered.

Zack was leading the trio up a steep climb. It was full of sharp rocks and stunted trees. "Doesn't look very familiar, does it, brother?" he asked, standing on top of a flat boulder and holding his hand out to help the other two up.

"Nope." Zeb agreed. To Bags he said, "Last time we were here, it was almost all volcanic stuff, no trees at all, even these ugly things."

"When was that," Bags asked, grunting himself up without the help of Zack, "about a thousand years ago?"

"More like two thousand." Zack said matter of factly.

They stood on the tabletop of the boulder and surveyed the area. It was, Zack had explained, the backdoor to the mountain where Bags and Pockets had spent the last 12 years. It was rough terrain, and retained some of the dangers from long ago. Deep clefts could drop hundreds of feet, or unstable rocks could rain down, and that would be the end of that. Steam occasionally leaked out of fissures in the ground, lending an appearance of one of the seven hells, Bags remarked.

"So there're seven of them now, huh?" Zeb asked.

"Sure. Everyone knows that." Bags replied.

"Remind me to ask you about the other six when we're done here." Zack jumped down on the other side.

"You mean if we survive." Bags said.

"Hell, son," Zeb said, "it's a guaranteed thing!" He followed Zack down to the ground. "Zack and me, why... we're practically immortal!"

"Yeah, whatever." Bags said, rolling his eyes.

"This whole area was blasted centuries ago, Bags." Zack explained. "It was done on purpose to keep people away. Shockly made it uninhabitable and also placed a mental suggestion that caused the rest of us to forget it even existed."

"Oh?" Bags wondered, "What happened to that?"

"It's still around. Most folks would say this valley is just not here. It's not on any map, and if anyone stumbles onto it, they tend to turn back and walk away from it." Zack said. He smiled back at Bags and said, "Zeb and I are immune to it, though."

"Lucky you." Bags grumbled.

"Yeah, lucky us." Zeb shot back. "Look, we didn't have to help you rescue your little friend, chum."

"Yes we did."

"Shut up, Zack." Zeb warned his brother away with a wave of his hand. "I, for one would rather be back at the bar, drinkin', flirtin', and then waking up with a headache. We, Zack and I... or more precise, Zack knew that if you did this alone, you'd screw it up. You're just a punk kid, barely wet behind the ears."

"I've fought in half a dozen wars!" Bags shouted. "That's not exactly wet, old man."

"And Zack and I have fought in a hundred or a thousand times that. We could see the writing on the wall here, Bags. This is not something you're gonna take on by yourself and walk away from with just a scratch on your butt."

Zack stepped forward and placed a hand on Zeb's shoulder. "Bags," he began, "Zeb's right." He looked down at the ground for a moment, then looked up with shiny eyes. "Your friend is important to you. I understand that. Please believe me, though, when I tell you I think I know what's going on here. If we don't, me and Zeb, help you, you're gonna lose your friend forever. He'll never get out of that chair, ever, ever again."

Bags looked first at Zeb, whose scowl was more severe and angry than he had ever seen before. Looking at Zack, he could see tears in the old man's eyes. That was a puzzle that Bags decided he should leave alone. It was obvious that both men were here because they chose to. They could have let him come by himself.

"Okay, I'm... sorry." Bags said, with clenched jaw. "I know you guys think you mean well, and I know you're doing this because ... Well, hell... I don't know why you guys are doing this. You coulda just let me go it alone." He looked to his right, searching for words. "I still don't know why we had to go this long way around. It was much shorter just going up from the village. Six hours instead of twelve or whatever it's taken us."

"Because" said Zack, gently, "the same thing that affects everyone else about this valley affects us about this mountain you tell us about. We have no idea where it is, have never heard about it, and if we got close enough we would never see it."

"How do you know? Did you ever try to find it?" Bags asked.

"Of course we did." Zeb said. "Your directions were pretty clear. Follow the road to the stream, turn and follow the path next to the stream till there's a break in the trees. Follow the break till we come to the cave, then follow the cave till we get to the gate. That's pretty much what you said, right?"

"That's it." Bags agreed.

"Okay, so we tried to follow those directions... What?" Zeb looked at Zack.

"About five times, Zeb." Zack supplied.

"About five times, and each and every time we ended up back at Newton."

"Oh." Bags pondered this, and then asked, "Why did you try?"

"Because we wanted to see where you lived. Drop in and visit, neighborly like," said Zeb. "And Zinnia wanted to know."

"Oh." Bags said. Then "Oh!"

"We weren't even sure if we could get you to come this way," Zack admitted. "We were afraid that you might have the same sort of mind control on you that everyone else does."

"Don't you think we've lost time?" Bags asked. Zeb and Zack were leading him toward a blank face on a high wall. What appeared to be a blank wall turned out to be a large boulder. The three squeezed behind it, and found it was hiding the entrance to a small cave. The cave mouth was about at tall as a man, and wide enough to hold Zeb and Zack standing next to each other, but not much more than that.

"No..." Zack said. "I have a feeling that your mister Fletcher was taking a bit of time, and it sounds like Pockets was being... umm... trained."

"Trained?" Bags thought about it. Thought about what Pockets had said about all the knowledge he had absorbed over the years. "Yeah, maybe." he conceded, "But trained for what?"

"Maybe to take over the family business." Zeb said.

"What does that mean?" Bags asked.

"It might mean nothing at all, Bags." Zack said, giving a warning look to Zeb. "What matters is that Pockets wants out, and that is what we are doing. Getting him out."

Zeb pointed up to some lettering. "Yep... this is the place. See? It says, 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here'"."

Zack nodded, looking up. "Yes, this is the place." He turned back to Bags and explained, "It was put above the gates of hell to warn off strangers. This is an illusion." He tapped on the side of the cave wall. It responded with a muffled 'punk'.

The three moved cautiously inside. After they had gone about five feet, a strip of light on either side of them burst into brilliance. Bags let out a yelp from surprise. The light came from a thin rectangle, about two feet long and an inch wide, which ran horizontally along the wall.

"This sure ain't like any cave I've ever been in," Bags said, a bit nervously.

"Just relax, Bags," said Zeb. "We've been here before. It's all right."

The cave now had the appearance of a long, gray corridor. On the left side, near Zack, a previously unseen panel sprang into view. It was about four feet above the floor and six inches square, with two lights, one above the other. A long, red handle, in the up position, was next to the lights. The top light had come on with the light strip, and was slowly blinking amber, on and off.

Zeb pulled the handle down and with a quiet swooshing sound, a door irised behind them. Bags yelped again.

"Would you just relax?" Zeb said. "Sheesh," he said, shaking his head at his brother, "these kids these days."

"Yeah, I know." Zach replied. He turned partially to Bags and said "Now, you might see some pretty weird stuff, but don't let it throw you, okay?" He started walking down the corridor.

Bags nodded, wide-eyed. "Okay," he said with and uncertain quaver in his voice, "can you give me a hint at what sort of weird stuff?"

Suddenly, a blood curdling bellow came from nowhere at the men, and right behind it was a Cerberus, a three-headed monster.

"Well," said Zeb, following his brother, "something like that comes to mind."

Bags yelled and jumped behind Zeb, who turned and said, "We told you not to let it put you off. This is just a..." he paused and Bags ran into him. "What was it called, Zack?"

"A holy gram."

"Yeah. This isn't real." To prove his point, he passed his hand through the image of the snarling three-headed dog. "See? Just lights and smoke. A holy gram." He kept walking past it.

"Looked real to me," Bags said, looking back at the Cerberus, still snarling.

"Don't be such a baby, Bags." Zeb said. "We'll protect you."

Zack stopped in a small circular room at the end of the corridor. He waited until the other two were close at hand, then turned to Bags and asked "Where did you say Pockets was being kept?"

"He's on the tenth floor of the tower." Bags supplied. "Sitting in a chair, next to something he called a 'quantum singularity'.

"Anything else you can remember?" Zeb prompted.

"Lots of lights on the walls... something called a computer. A couple of big tables. One entrance from some stupid ladder and ... hell, I don't know... that's all I saw."

Zack looked at Zeb, a question on his face. "Computers, a chair and a thing in a bottle. Research, d'ya think?"

"Sure." Zeb agreed. "Why not?"

In a commanding voice, Zach said "Research, Deck 10"

Without a lurch, the three started to descend. Zeb put a steadying hand on Bags' shoulder. Bags looked over at him, panic showing a bit on his face. "I know what you mean," Zeb said. "First time we were here, Zack did the very same thing."

The trip down was brief and very fast. The there was a small sensation of moving sideways, noticeable because all three men felt the sensation in their inner ear. Other than that, there was no feeling of movement whatsoever, and it was silent, other than the heavy breathing going on.

"This is a place we've never been before, Bags." Zack said. "We've come back a few times, to just, you know... look around. After a while it got pretty boring, so we quit coming."

"Yeah." Zeb agreed. "I think that was about a thousand years ago or so."

"So we don't know what we'll be seeing once we get there."

"There... umm..." Bags gulped, hard. "There's not much there, like I said. Just Pockets, the chair and a few tables."

"And this Fletcher guy." Zeb said. "Maybe."

"Oh," said Zack. "I have a feeling he'll be there." He looked around the tiny traveling room they occupied. "In fact, I would be surprised if he didn't know we were here."

"How could he know?" Bags asked. He looked around as well, though what he was looking for he had no idea.

"I don't know... exactly." Zack said. "It's just the last time we were here, all you had to do was speak to the walls and you could talk to someone else, far away." He shrugged "I don't know, really." He smiled weakly. "Just a feeling."

The little room gave the impression of stopping. There was a short hallway that led off to the left.

"Come on." said Zeb, who ran a short distance and then stopped, facing to his right. "Research." He said, pointing. On the wall was, indeed, printed the word 'Research.' "I don't see a door knob, though." He thought a bit and asked Zack, "Do you remember the words that Grand-dad used, Zack?"

"Hell, Zeb, that was over two thousand years ago. You think I can remember some words that were spoken one over two thousand years ago?"

"Well... I was hoping."

Bags said "Let me try." He walked up to the door and looked for a seam. It was small, barely visible, but it was there. He turned to Zeb and said, "Give me that crowbar."

Zeb handed the metal stick to Bags, who shoved the crow end into the seam. It didn't quite fit, so he shoved a bit harder. It caused a bit of a dent, so he shoved it one more time, this time driving it deep into the crack.

Bags put his shoulder into it, bulged his biceps, and pulled. The door didn't budge. Bags reversed direction and pushed. The door may have moved, imperceptibly.

"You don't look like you're getting very far, Bags." Zeb said.

"Shut...up." Bags grunted out. Sweat started to spring out on his shoulders, drip from his forehead.

"Let us help, Bags." Zack offered.

"No!" Bags said. The seams on his shirt tore a bit more, and he took on a bit of a sheen.

"Um... Zack?" Zeb said.

"Yes, Zeb. I see it. Curious." Zack answered.

Slowly, screaming like an over wrought banshee, the door moved. It ground back into the wall, inch by inch, complaining the entire way. There was a sound like a tree breaking in half and suddenly the door slid without a sound into the slot. The crowbar flew out of Bags' hand to clang on the floor in the room beyond.

"Pretty impressive, Bags." Zack said as he peered into the room.

It was as Bags had described. Empty, except for a few tables, a chair, and a bottle that seemed to have nothing in it. The walls flickered with lights, blinking on, blinking off.

"I'd say, off hand, this is the place." Zack and Zeb walked into the Research room, Bags taking the rear.

"Is that Pockets?" Zeb asked, pointing to the chair where a figure sat.

"Yeah. That's him." Bags said.

"Okay." Zeb said. "So far it's been a cake walk. Just walk over and grab him, and let's get the heck out of here."

"It may not be that easy." Bags said. "Pockets said I couldn't just remove him from the chair. That's why he asked for the ale." He indicated the kegs that he and Zeb carried on their backs.

"All righty then." Zeb continued. "Go over, get your friend drunk and let's get outta here. This place has always given me the creeps."

"Oh, I don't know if I'd try to remove him from that chair, gentlemen." A rather irritated voice came from behind the trio.

Fletcher stood, leaning against the doorway of the ruined door. His brown robe flowed down to the floor and his blue eyes shimmered with gentle menace. "You see, his mind is very much entrenched into a twelfth dimensional crosscurrent. You pull him out now, and he'll be not only a vegetable, but quite likely dead."

Zack whispered to Zeb "Now... why does that guy look familiar?"

Fletcher smiled and continued, "Now, why don't you be a good couple of old men and take your pet and leave."

"I dunno, Zack." Zeb answered his brother, "He does look familiar, doesn't he?"

Fletcher came forward, gliding across the floor. "Apparently, it's going to take a bit to convince you." He sighed. "Very well." A handle appeared in his hand from nowhere, and from the handle grew a long blade that glowed an eerie blue green and emitted a loud 'thrum'.

"You should leave here, you know," he warned as he approached, "You really have no business here."

"No business here..." muttered Zack. "No business here." Fletcher was almost to them. "Zeb! It's Obi!"

"Obi?" Zeb squinted his eyes at the approaching figure. "Well I'll be damned. It is!"

Comments

[shackrlu.livejournal.com]

Drink Pockets DRINK!!

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Not yet! It's become a little bit more complex than just getting him drunk, I'm afraid. (Just fyi.. this section pushed it just past the 50k word mark - took me two and a half months.. but it's there.)

[shackrlu.livejournal.com]

YaY!! Looks like this one will be the biggest story to date!

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

I dunno. The Librarian was 87 thou, but then I consider it to pretty much be schlock work. Pretty words, lots of sounds, a bit more legend for the Village. Then again, I could always get back in it and clean it up.. might push that 100 thou word limit.

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

Obi? GahhhH!!! Who is Obi?? Don't stop now!!! :O

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

It was a hard choice to write this section. It basically arm wrestled the other two section for dominance, and I was brain locked during that time. Fortunately, Grizelda came along and said just the right thing to point me in the correct direction.

There will be more tonight.

[seer-of-athena.livejournal.com]

Obi Wan Knobi? With his light saber? Zack and Zeb could be in trouble now!

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Well.. sorta. Obi is someone they met long, long ago. It was the first story about the Planet of Nowhere, written 20 years ago.

[seer-of-athena.livejournal.com]

ah, I didn't assume you would create a character like that without some very specific purpose. But I did have to give you a hard time anyway. As always enjoying the story-

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

You assumed correctly! The name was a joke bestowed on it by the original creator, though the saber is very functional, and Zack and Zeb are indeed in trouble. I haven't head much of the rest of the story, so I don't know if anyone is critically wounded as of yet. I think not, though. Zeb and Zack are basically immortals, though being cut in half would kinda suck for the rest of your life.