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joegodaThis one is about letting go of the past.
I am the most imperfect person I know, but even in those imperfections, I see
the perfection of the universe underlying. The past is the past, and what I
don't see anyone doing or understanding is that even the negative must exist.
It's the rubbing of two stones together that creates a mating. To be angry at
the rubbing together is natural, but it must be an honest anger, devoid of past
baggage, such as "Well, they did this, so you are too.. how typical" Anger is
normal and expected, but it should be kept in it's proper place. Experienced,
dealt with and let go. For myself, I try to let it go quickly, but find it
re-inforced by being around another angry person, expecially when the anger
stems from the same source.
To put away the past is impossible. It is what makes us what we are. To accept
the past as a room we stayed in and walked away from allows us to stand outside
and look through the windows saying "thank god that's over, and what did I
learn from that place?". If the answer is nothing, then there needs to be a
re-evaluation of what the place contained, and what the lesson was meant to be.
In our lives, there are things said, rubbings that didn't quite fit right.
These rubbings have left scars upon the rock of our relationships, and to remove
the scars would be a thing that meant we have learned nothing. What we can do
is to evaluate the scars, see what we've learned and attempt to agree to what
the scars represent to each other, and reach an understanding of the anger that
the scars created. That way the anger, though possibly still there, can be
handled in a healthy way. By saying 'I understand your anger', and meaning it,
takes the scar and makes it a thing that can be handled with less care and put
away.
In my life, women have been both a bane and a blessing. I know
this, and my own personal demons are connected to my past experiences. This
means that a lot of my own insecurities are connected to my feelings of guilt
and lack of understanding and comprehension. In short, my failings created my
demons. When I say "A woman did this to me", I actually mean that I am angry
because of My lack of understanding, and that in reality, I did it to myself.
The statement that nobody can make you do anything is false, but we have the
choice in how we handle what we may be made to do. It's an agreement. A man
with a gun may make me give him my money, but I have to agree to give it to him
so that he won't shoot me. It's the imagined threat that creates the reaction.
We can control the things that hurt us, but we choose not to. Our egos are
taught and constructed in such a way that hurts are a bruise and the ego tends
to LIKE to re-bruise the area, just so they can beat the breast and exclaim 'It
wasn't MY fault!'. Move the ego out of the say and the bruise heals. Remove
the ego, and hurts dissapear. The solution is to become nobody of consequence
and to recognise your only importance is to yourself and your reality.
I have worked to be that person, but as you can tell, I fail. The failing also
dissapoints me, but will not stop me from striving. My own ego tells me that I
am doing better.. ;)
You are who you are, I am who I is. The orbits of our universes mesh and do
not, but we work at it. That's the important part.. the continous work to make
it work.
I am the most imperfect person I know, but even in those imperfections, I see
the perfection of the universe underlying. The past is the past, and what I
don't see anyone doing or understanding is that even the negative must exist.
It's the rubbing of two stones together that creates a mating. To be angry at
the rubbing together is natural, but it must be an honest anger, devoid of past
baggage, such as "Well, they did this, so you are too.. how typical" Anger is
normal and expected, but it should be kept in it's proper place. Experienced,
dealt with and let go. For myself, I try to let it go quickly, but find it
re-inforced by being around another angry person, expecially when the anger
stems from the same source.
To put away the past is impossible. It is what makes us what we are. To accept
the past as a room we stayed in and walked away from allows us to stand outside
and look through the windows saying "thank god that's over, and what did I
learn from that place?". If the answer is nothing, then there needs to be a
re-evaluation of what the place contained, and what the lesson was meant to be.
In our lives, there are things said, rubbings that didn't quite fit right.
These rubbings have left scars upon the rock of our relationships, and to remove
the scars would be a thing that meant we have learned nothing. What we can do
is to evaluate the scars, see what we've learned and attempt to agree to what
the scars represent to each other, and reach an understanding of the anger that
the scars created. That way the anger, though possibly still there, can be
handled in a healthy way. By saying 'I understand your anger', and meaning it,
takes the scar and makes it a thing that can be handled with less care and put
away.
In my life, women have been both a bane and a blessing. I know
this, and my own personal demons are connected to my past experiences. This
means that a lot of my own insecurities are connected to my feelings of guilt
and lack of understanding and comprehension. In short, my failings created my
demons. When I say "A woman did this to me", I actually mean that I am angry
because of My lack of understanding, and that in reality, I did it to myself.
The statement that nobody can make you do anything is false, but we have the
choice in how we handle what we may be made to do. It's an agreement. A man
with a gun may make me give him my money, but I have to agree to give it to him
so that he won't shoot me. It's the imagined threat that creates the reaction.
We can control the things that hurt us, but we choose not to. Our egos are
taught and constructed in such a way that hurts are a bruise and the ego tends
to LIKE to re-bruise the area, just so they can beat the breast and exclaim 'It
wasn't MY fault!'. Move the ego out of the say and the bruise heals. Remove
the ego, and hurts dissapear. The solution is to become nobody of consequence
and to recognise your only importance is to yourself and your reality.
I have worked to be that person, but as you can tell, I fail. The failing also
dissapoints me, but will not stop me from striving. My own ego tells me that I
am doing better.. ;)
You are who you are, I am who I is. The orbits of our universes mesh and do
not, but we work at it. That's the important part.. the continous work to make
it work.
