joegoda: (Default)
joegoda ([personal profile] joegoda) wrote2005-12-03 08:11 pm

some days are rougher than others

My brother Sam moved today. Or moved partially. He called me about 11 am to give him a hand, and of course, how could I refuse. Family is family.

I found that today, I could not move as well as I would have liked. I was more tired than I should have been. I only lasted for about 3 hours. I don't know what is wrong. Maybe I just need sleep. Sometimes I worry I'm getting older.

Course, it was also a rather rough day emotionally for me. Old ghosts kept popping up. I watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and for some reason, I just started crying. No particular thing in the movie should have had that effect. It came unbidden, it came without thought. It just came, like an unwelcome guest carrying black roses.

I'm just writing it down here for the same reason that everyone else writes things down here. Not necessarily for sympathy, though I'm sure that motive is there. Not necessarily for anyone to even respond to. Just cuz I feel like writing it down, and so, I do. I'm at 70 thousand words on my novel, I don't feel like writing in it anymore, so I come here to write. To communicate, even if it's just archived so I can go back and read it sometime in the distant future.

Money's in short supply, but hell, that's normal for just bout everyone. So is comfort, but I suspect that's pretty much average too. Aw well. Not every night was meant to be joyous. Some nights were just made for Coffee, Contemplation, Adjustment and Acceptance.

James, old baby bro, I still miss you.

[identity profile] abbynormalcy.livejournal.com 2005-12-04 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
Black roses are beautiful too, in their way. And sometimes brandy is just right in the coffee, for cold nights. :) *hug*

[identity profile] joegoda.livejournal.com 2005-12-04 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
For a very brief moment, one season to be exact, I raised a very dark blue black rose. I was incredibly proud of it, but my hubris was not a great thing. Being about 12 years old, I didn't know that much about cross pollination, and the next season it became a very dark red. And brandy would be good, but tain't have any. The thought is nice though.