On living with a past....

[joegoda]

It occurred to me yesterday, on my 48th birthday, that I have a past that a great number of folks have not. Granted, there are those older, and have even more of a past, but I'm not speaking of them. I'm speaking of the folks that come after the first moon landing, which happened when I was 11.

This past of mine contains:

Using an old crank phone... was the first call I ever made, and it was from my grandmother's house to my house.
Churning butter from milk, using a new fangled churner, made of metal instead of wood. Or maybe that was the milk separator...

Going down to the co-op as a child and watching baby chicks be born. That was a hoot, but I can still remember the smell of the hay and the musk of freshly hatched eggs. Do they still take kids down to the co-op to see these things? Or are they too busy working to ensure they are drug free?

Watching the first episodes of the Jetsons, and the Flintstones.. in black and white. Watching the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.. and btw, I did NOT like Elvis even back then. Why? I think it's cuz I thought he was a punk.

Going to family reunions and getting RC cola (the best there was!) out a horse trough filled with ice.

Building a replica of Telstar, which had just been launched the year before.

Wandering round the city on Halloween, gathering candy (we covered something like 10 square miles in one night, by ourselves, thank you very much)

The concept of Gangs were limited to Spanky and.... *WE* had clubs!

Drinking from country streams, and feeling the cool water flow down my throat, and only tasting the water.. well.. ok.. a bit o' dirt, maybe a twig or two.

Nuclear testing was not even known in my town.

Going to the moon? That was for the HoneyMooners (which I didn't get to watch, cuz mom hated Jackie Gleason)

Watching ALL the Red Skelton shows.

Having a baby sitter with no tatooes, no piercings, who thought babysitting was cool..

Seeing Captain Kangaroo in person, when his hair was black.

Thinking that Mr. Greenjeans was a jerk.. now I think he was a pervert.

Seeing The Sound of Music when it first came out.

Hearing about the Vietnam war, but not really being a part of it. That was far away, and I was a kid.

Thinking that Pres. Johnson was a jerk, specially cuz he had big ears and came from Texas.. They talk funny, don't you know.

Knowing that Incredible Edibles made up for any meal, next to meatloaf.

Teaching myself how to melt glass with a blowtorch.. (yeah, dad would have shot me for sure)

Learning how to make a mimeograph from unflavored Gelatin. Oh yeah.. and Flubber! Not the movie, but the short lived toxic substance they came out with to rival Silly Putty. It glowed in the dark! And so did the kids that ate it..... But man, it was cool!

Knowing that my parents, for all the quirks they had, were the best parents in the world.

Having my mom stitch my clothes by hand, and being as proud of them as any designer clothes there were.

Oh yeah.. there weren't any designer clothes then either.. unless you counted Levis.

I saw the Three Stooges.. when Curly was alive.. in person! Wish I'd kept that autograph....

I owned a WonderWoman number 1.

Bobby Kennedy was shot the last year I was in Indiana. I was 11... maybe 10. I remember being shocked and saddened. Now, the odd thing is, I don't remember John being shot at all.

We didn't have a Martin Luther King day.. didn't even know who he was.

Lived next to a couple of kids named Hootenanny and Snookums.. it's true! Their mom was the black maid for the College dean, and that was their nicknames. I never heard them called any thing else.

My crossing guard, who looked suspiciously like Santa Claus mixed with Captain Kangaroo, gave out candy every Christmas.

There really was a Ma Bell, and directory assistance was dialing Zero. AND our phone number had only 4 digits.

Kids were spanked, and no repercussions from any state agencies. Hell, sometimes the NEIGHBOR spanked you, with no repercussions from the parents, cuz the parents knew you had done something and deserved it.

Neighbors watched out for lil kids too, and did a fine job of it.

Gas was twenty five cents a gallon when I was 12.

Gas was 15 cents a gallon when I lived in Indiana, the Gulf station had this cool pump that had little balls on the top that would twirl when the gas flowed, just to prove that it really did flow.

Baskin Robbins was the best place to go, unless it was Dairy Queen.

The very first shopping mall was built in my town when I was 9.. or maybe 10.

The idea of kids being safe relied upon them being smart enough to know that if they fell off a 2 story building, they could die.

Children were much less protected then, I think. Yes, don't talk to strangers, unless the stranger was asking for directions and you knew you could run faster than them. Look both ways when crossing the street. Stop, Look, Listen at railroad crossings. If you burn your hand on the stove, then what the hell did you expect? You knew it was hot! Electricity can kill you. Don't take medications not prescribed by a doctor.. and back then, doctors made house calls.

Drugs were something you got at a Rexall, that had a counter where you could sit and order a club sandwich and a Malt. You also bought your fireworks there. And sometimes they let you shoplift, knowing that when you were caught, being caught was enough to scare you into never doing it again. And I never have since. I was 6, btw.

Being poor didn't suck, cuz we were ALL poor. If you went digging in someone's trashbin, they didn't throw you in jail, claiming you were stealing their trash. Hell, it was trash.. why do you thnk they threw it away in the first place?

My past has given me a lot of insight that I don't think may kids will reach. I hope so. I've seen examples of parents (Trace, Anthony) who raise their kids to THINK responsibility.

See, I believe that as much as we needed the 60's and 70's to free us from some really retarded thinking (hmm.. I think we've taken a few steps backward), I believe that in the release of all that personal freedom, we forgot something. Freedom requires Responsibility. The "oh, I would never spank my child" mentality has opened a whole can of worms where a "talking to" is what a person expects when they screw up. Granted, that spanking thing can get out of hand. There are a lot of frustrated folks out there, that can't control themselves when dealing with less strong folks, and can actually do a lot of damage to a child. There are a lot of frustrated folks out there that can't control themselves when dealing with an adult, either. I tend to think this frustration comes from not realizing that every decision we make is our responsibility.

The idea that folks "can't make you feel something, can't make you choose something" is a lot of bull, even though I subscribed to that concept for a very long time. I promise you, that there is someone, somewhere in your life, that knows the exact button to push to make you feel an emotion they want you to feel. We are a race of manipulators, and you can be manipulated, no matter how much you may argue against it. Hell, even arguing against it you are being manipulated, by your past, by your present, by your ego.

This concept that "nobody can make you do anything" comes directly from the 60's and 70's idea of personal freedom. See, in a truely free society, where we have the ability to make up our own minds in a world that has no external pressures which control those choices we can choose freely, given the information we have. Unfortunately, in today's world, that doesn't work.

There too many folks that are more than willing to say 'This is YOUR fault', and ride the constructs surrounding that statement like a wild pony. Finger pointing has become not only a way of life, but an accepted form of expression. Don't believe me? Check out frivolous lawsuits through any search engine. And guess what? These minds have given birth to childen and passed that 'Twern't me McGee' mentality on to the little ones. These are the kids that fall down in school yards, don't cry til they get home, and then go into great detail about how they weren't doing anything, it just happened, and it must be the school's fault, which in turn causes the parents to sue the schools.

Or... how bout, more pertinent stuff. A child makes a C on his report card. Of course, it's not his fault.. he didn't deserve it, he's intelligent, and just cuz he didn't study, just cuz he spent most of his time playing vid games, just cuz the books he was supposed to open were left uncracked is no reason why he should not receive at least an A. I mean, he did go to school after all, didn't he?

So the parents sue the school for giving their child a C. The schools are forced to modify their curriculum for the LOWEST denominator (the stupidest kid), rather than causing the child to think and grow in curiosity and willingness to learn.

Yeah, I think children are stupid, mostly. Lacking in knowledge and the will to expand beyond 'who do we kill next and where do you get the cheat codes?' And I blame the parents, who I also think are stupid, lacking knowledge and the will to expand beyond 'how do I get rich quick, and who do I sue to get there'. There are folks like that. I know an entire family that lives in Claremore, OK, who live their life just like that. Nobody there holds down a job, because .... why? There's always some sucker out there.

The positive side of this is that their life spans tend to be short, but not short enough for me.

Yeah, I'm pissed today. Feeling the signs of old age (general grumpiness.. but I've had that forever), and knowing that I've worked my tail off to end up with no car, no savings, a fear of lack of everything.

Now.. here's the positive side of that. I've lived long enough to have developed good friends, loved ones and a life that has been, to say the least, adventurous. I have stories that would raise your hackles, cause belly laughs galore, tears to fill the bucket, and rev that sexual engine to the point of a cold shower. It's been a good life, and dammit, it's good for the very same reason it's not as good as it could be.

It's been my own fault, my own choosing, and I would have chosen no other path. And though YOU can make me feel something, though you can make me choose a road, the fact remains that it is MY road. And that is MY responsibility.

Love you all, even those that I don't.

Rev. Chet

Comments

[abbynormalcy.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday. :)

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[mstami.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday and many more. Hugs and kisses. :)

[calamityrose.livejournal.com]

First, hope you had a Very nice birthday :) This makes you what? A Cancer? Ah well*balloons and ice cream and cake for everyone!* ;)

Now...

The idea that folks "can't make you feel something, can't make you choose something" is a lot of bull, even though I subscribed to that concept for a very long time. I promise you, that there is someone, somewhere in your life, that knows the exact button to push to make you feel an emotion they want you to feel. We are a race of manipulators, and you can be manipulated, no matter how much you may argue against it.

*This is a premise people fight vehemently against, but you're right. It's manipulation of the strongest type, communication.

See, I believe that as much as we needed the 60's and 70's to free us from some really retarded thinking (hmm.. I think we've taken a few steps backward), I believe that in the release of all that personal freedom, we forgot something. Freedom requires Responsibility. The "oh, I would never spank my child" mentality has opened a whole can of worms where a "talking to" is what a person expects when they screw up. Granted, that spanking thing can get out of hand. There are a lot of frustrated folks out there, that can't control themselves when dealing with less strong folks, and can actually do a lot of damage to a child. There are a lot of frustrated folks out there that can't control themselves when dealing with an adult, either. I tend to think this frustration comes from not realizing that every decision we make is our responsibility.

*Yeah, right. It gets 'out of hand' for the violent few that ruin it for the rest of society.
I firmly believe in the right to spank my own child's butt if he/she deserves it. Especially when danger would threaten them a Lot more than a mere spanking!!! Like a three year old standing behind a trash truck and the truck beginning to back up. Almost hit the kid, and what did he get? "Nonono! Must'nt do that, big bad truck will run over you!" And a coddling for yelling at him. *pfft* Somethings definitely wrong with this picture. A good, old fashioned spanking never hurt *me*!

This concept that "nobody can make you do anything" comes directly from the 60's and 70's idea of personal freedom. See, in a truely free society, where we have the ability to make up our own minds in a world that has no external pressures which control those choices we can choose freely, given the information we have. Unfortunately, in today's world, that doesn't work.

* I grew up in the 60's and I think you misunderstand. The idea *was* personal responsibility and the *right* to do what you felt was correct, decent, and the right to express that. Just because a bunch of freakin' flower children and radicals (I fall into that middle somewhere) led everyone to believe that anarchy was the way to go, doesn't make that true for the rest of us. ;)

Lastly, thanks for all the memories! Levis weren't considered designer clothing though, where I was, they were cheap! Only five bucks a pair at the surplus store and brand new. I loved them and still do, but now have to wait to find them in thrift stores. How yuppy can a pair of stupid jeans become? ;p Did you forget to mention a visit to the outhouse??? *gah* I used to Hate those things *chuckle* And baths in the kitchen in a big tub, water heated on the stove......you brought me a lot with this post, thanks again. It's been wonderful to be reminded of some of the simpler things I miss (yes, even that snakey outhouse).

[lorriejharris.livejournal.com]

Well, Happy Birthday a little late. *hugs*

And damned if you didn't say exactly what I think. You just said it better than I could.

[calamityrose.livejournal.com]

Said what? Who? *chuckle*

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Outhouses! Yep, you're right. I plumb forgot about outhouses. It was where I learned about the difference between dirty dirt and clean dirty. Directly from my Grandfather, a man who did many things from fighting and building a railroad during the Battle of the Bulge (WWII) to contracting black lung from working in a coal mine, to almost becoming a minor league shortshop. The last he gave up because he had a family he didn't want to take on the road with him. He felt it wouldn't be right.

In digging an outhouse, you first pick the place. This is done by the mystical concept of "Here's the spot", which is done by said Grandfather. You are then handed a shovel and dig a circle approximately an inch larger in diameter than your average 50 gallon drum. THEN you dig until it gets to be night fall, which in this case happened to be about 10 or 12 feet down.
The first 6 inches of topsoil is called dirty dirt, because it has all the stuff in it that comes from all sorts of animals and leaves and worms and icky stuff. It's dirty dirt because it's what gets you dirty. (this is really what he said!) Under that is clean dirt, which, if you look at it makes sense, because it's lighter in color. It makes sense, but of course, it's not true.

I'll make you an offer. If you get free of your chosen responsibilities, you are invited to come live in an area of the country that is green year round, has lush forests, incredible lakes, and people that leave you alone unless you don't want to be. It's not free, and it's not as cheap as it could be. Work is hard to find, and most of the citizens tend to hibernate in the winter, which lasts about 3 months. It's not Colorado, and you can indeed hear banjoes strumming deep in the hollers. It's just a thought, and no, it's not an invitation to come live with me because nobody in their right or left mind would do that sanely, it's an invitation to recharge.

Now.... About personal responsibility: I agree with you, and I don't think I misconcieved. Originally, the idea was personal freedom with personal responsibility, because the concept of Karma, the 3 fold rule, and it's just the right thing to do, man.

Run that through the gristmill of 2 or 3 generations, one of which became about 200 million disillusioned and angry Hippies, Yippies, and Flowerchildren. You get the ME generation, which quickly became the I,Me,Mine generation. All the concept of personal responsibility mingled with personal freedom sorta faded away. Well.. ok.. it didn't fade away, but it's taken a severe backseat to the concept of 'What can I get away with?', especially when it pertains to business or raising children.

Raising children? Well.. like the example given in the post, or the wonderful one you gave, the concept of 'It takes a village to raise a child' was replaced by 'It's my child, and I'll raise it as I see fit', which in turn has degenerated, in far too many cases to 'Huh? I have a child?' They leave the raising to the vid games, the nannies, the babysitters, the daycare, and spend less time with their child then they do at the shopping malls or changing their oil.

Of course, I might be a bit cynical on this subject.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah.. I'm a Cancer. Double Cancer with Leo rising, if I remember correctly.. maybe a bit o' Taurus tossed in for some stubbornness. June 24th, 1957, and dammed proud of it. The year of one of the largest recorded solar flares, to name only one thing.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I'm older than you, love! I remember distinctly, as in great detail, the day John was shot.

But yeah, I really suck at remembering birthdays. Even of people I really care about a lot!

***birthday hugs***

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

But.. do you remember Howdy Doody? Jack Benny? The Katzenjammer Kids?
Not to worry bout the birthday, hon. Just another day, and not much of a mark on history. Sorry I missed your party. Sherry and I celebrated the birth of me a wee bit too hard.
Add to the fact that she can't see to drive and I have nothing to drive that far, and well.. the world just wasn't ready for she and I to get there.

[calamityrose.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. I asked in another post when your bd was. Hadn't seen this yet. I'm a double Taurus, Aquarius moon. *gah* Talk about stubborn, and with all that dreaminess tossed in, it makes life a bit confusing. *g

The post above I mostly agree with. We're a shackled, spoiled country and WAY too PC for my tastes.

Thanks for the invite, but like I said, I don't think you could Drag me any further East from here! Maybe visits sometimes tho. Gads, there are SO Many ppl I'd love to just visit for awhile. (I miss fireflies) *s

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

I would never drag anyone. I find that a refrigerator box and duct tape works just fine. We already had and are still having our firefly storm. If I catch one, I'll whisper to her to come visit you.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* Yes, yes and yes! I remember when the first tv hit our neighborhood...vaguely.

My mother taught music in a one room schoolhouse when we moved to Iowa; yes, there was still one left in southern Iowa in the early 60's.

I remember Barbie dolls that didn't DO anything, had no hair, no clothes (except what I made her), no house, no car and no moving parts.

I remember dial phones...well, I could keep going, couldn't I?

Anyway, love, we did miss you and Sherry both but we'll have to find time soon to get together for swimming, drinking and giggling, ok?

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

A barbie with no hair?? Near the little town where I was born, there was a one room school house that doubled as a church on sundays and wednesday nights. To the best of my knowledge, it's still there, and still used. The population of that little town was something like 250 or so back in the late 60's. I have no idea if it's grown or not, but it still exists no the map. Hmph.. I need to get back there. I can smell the newmown alfalfa, hear the gentle mooing of the cows, and see in my minds eye farm implements that date before this state was a state.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

And I think a night of 'Do you remember...?' would be a wonderful thing.. but then, I tend to wax nostalgic on occasion.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I think of newmown alfalfa...and sneeze!

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

That would be way fun...especially without as many of the ones who'd go,
"GOSH, I wasn't born yet!" or "Oohh, you were in college when I was born!" Plplplplpl (that's a typed bronx cheer!)

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, who needs them. They just think they know what it means to live.

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

But I'm one of the unfortunate ones that have NO allergies... sometimes wish I did.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

"unfortunate" ye gods! Why on earth would you wish for allergies?

Fortunately, I've grown out of more than I've grown into. *wry grin* Unfortunately one of the immunities I lost in the last 14 years was the one to poison ivy. Could really use that one now!

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

It's unfortunate because it means I have an inflated sense of my own immortality. It allows me to believe that things like toxic fumes have no effect on me. Course, to date, the only real thing that has given me the watery eyes is straight ammonia from a paper processing plant. But you know.. the older I get, I would hope I would start to be more careful. Haven't really seen any signs of it yet....

[calamityrose.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to be rude, sorry ....and I'd suffocate if I couldn't talk!!! ;p

As far as the fireflies, we can Propogate Arizona with 'em! That'd be so cool! My yard looks like a fairy land except for that one thing. Should I get some blinkie lights ya think?

[joegoda.livejournal.com]

Rude? You were rude? Problem with fireflies is if I shipped 'em, they would die before they got there.. very very short life spans. Blinky lights would be soo cool.

thanks

[tmeg1734.livejournal.com]

quote: "My past has given me a lot of insight that I don't think may kids will reach. I hope so. I've seen examples of parents (Trace, Anthony) who raise their kids to THINK responsibility."

Thanks darlin...