Ah. Carolyn. She's pulled way back, Capi. I call her pretty much once a day and tend to get her voice mail. When she does call, she calls on her very best days so I don't hear the pain she's in. I have talked to her on those painful, hopeless days and tell her that the pain does not put me off, and her tears are not a sign of weakness. I don't know if she has understood that, or if her personal pride prevents her from putting what I tell her in her heart.
She's dying, Cap. As are we all, 'cept maybe for some lonely immortal here and there. This doesn't make her dying any smaller, although it might sound like it.
I know, darling sis, that you are asking how I'm feeling and if I'm okay. I know that, when I write like this, you sometimes wonder what's going through my mind and if I've had another loss.
Not Carolyn, Capi. Not yet. She's tired, from the last time I talked to her. She's ready to go home. This world has caused her so much pain in so brief a time... only 52 years. Something keeps her here, besides her beating heart. When she's made up her mind that her work here is done, when she's decided that she can safely go home... she will.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-01 04:16 pm (UTC)She's dying, Cap. As are we all, 'cept maybe for some lonely immortal here and there. This doesn't make her dying any smaller, although it might sound like it.
I know, darling sis, that you are asking how I'm feeling and if I'm okay. I know that, when I write like this, you sometimes wonder what's going through my mind and if I've had another loss.
Not Carolyn, Capi. Not yet. She's tired, from the last time I talked to her. She's ready to go home. This world has caused her so much pain in so brief a time... only 52 years. Something keeps her here, besides her beating heart. When she's made up her mind that her work here is done, when she's decided that she can safely go home... she will.
Then I will sing for a week.