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Had a heck of a time getting to sleep. I must remember not to make a pot of coffee at 10 pm. And then finish it by midnight.


There must be something else to drink... Is water good? I've heard rumors, but heck, it costs more than a gallon of gasoline. And none of the fruity flavored drinks either. If I wanted juice, I'd buy juice! But juice keeps me awake too. And soda? Naw... I drink one soda every 6 months and that's just to cut the taste of the coffee. And it's Coke over Pepsi, because Pepsi, even though I like it better, is too sweet for me, after having been away from it for so long. So no soda, either. Besides, the bubbles cause my left arm to ache and I think I'm having a heart attack, which would be impossible because I left my heart somewhere else, long ago. I have been to Frisco, after all.

Maybe that tap water thing. I used it to wash my clothes and none of them have fallen apart. I use it in baking, and it hasn't rotted my insides yet.

Now, my mother, who had a case of beer a day habit before the (dramatic pause) incident, firmly believed that drinking water would rust her pipes. And having heard her sing, I believe that in her early hears, she must have drunk quite a bit and was speaking from experience. She probably never heard of Naval Jelly, which, oddly enough is not eaten from a toasted navel, nor is it made from navel oranges, nor is it even used for those people whose navel squeaks. Naval Jelly is used to remove rust from all sorts of things that get rusty. And it works just like it says it will, even to the point of eating all the rust that may be holding the rusty thing together. Don't ask me how I know this.

Regardless, I didn't get to sleep until 5 am. It was the Carlin thing on Actors studio, that ended at 3 am. And then it was whatever it was that kept me up for 2 more hours. .... OH yeah! It was too hot. For some reason, I can't sleep in an enclosed space that gets above 72 degrees... maybe 75. Once I'm asleep, I do fine, and I can sleep outdoors in whatever temperature I get thrown at me.

So I dropped the temperature, got a large drink of that rust causing stuff (I was kidding about the water, I have a 2 quart bottle that I keep water in, just in case I'm feeling a bit... parched.) Once the temperature dropped down to below boiling, I lay down and was asleep in about 2 minutes.

So... once I awoke, I got up, went to the store and got a jar of peanut butter, two 5 pound bags of flour... and there is one puzzle for you. One ten pound bag of flour costs 4.39, give or take. BUT, two 5 pound bags cost 1.89 a piece. Well, any fool, and that would be me, can see that 1.89 is less than 2.00 and 2.00 twice is 4.00 which is still less than 4.39. I would think that buying in bulk would be less expensive, but I guess not. Silly me.

Besides, two 5 pound bags fit more easily under my cupboard than a ten pound bag. So, score one for Math. And I thought I would never use it. I saved... uh... money by picking up two 5 pounders rather than one 10 pounder.

I forget why I bought the flour, but I suspect it has something to do with baking. I'm sure I'll remember it. I thought about buying sugar, and I may, but not right now. That whole two 5 pound cost less than a 10 pound threw me. OH... and sugar is the same way, too. And they have something called baking sugar, which I suppose is more finely ground or something. But... it's kinda like flavored water, isn't it? It all bakes and if you know what you're doing, then what the hey?

And self-rising flour? Is that like... flour with yeast in it? And it cost 50 cents more? why not just buy regular old flour and then spend a quarter, which is half of 50 cents, on a package of yeast? I just don't know. I'm sure I'm missing something here. Maybe it was the branding of cheap bastard on my butt when I was but a wee babe.

I remember running up to my dad when we were in a little general hardware store in Crawfordsville, that tiny town where I was born, with a toy clutched in my tiny little hand. "Dad! Dad!" hollerith (yes, it was on computer punch cards) I, "Can we buy this, please, please, please, please? It only costs a quarter!"

"No, son," sayeth my dad, sagely, because we had just eaten turkey dressing, "A quarter is too much. Put it back and quit picking your nose."

I grew up like that. A quarter is too much, and I don't pick my nose. I do, however, have the habit of picking my friends noses.

But I digress. I came home from the grocery store with my oddly priced flour and peanut butter (I buy Peter Pan because it's already pre-diseased... they are being watched like a HAWK!) and my laundry detergent for my Brand New Wonder, wonder, wonder Wash! and dropped them on the counter. I quickly put my flour and Peter Pan away because I just wanted to get in to my bathroom and wash my shirts!

Nothing smells so good as a freshly laundered shirt. Well... maybe a pan of brownies. OH! That's what the flour is for! And then there is the smell of a woman's hair. And whatever Becky was wearing at Pub Night. That was good too! Fresh mowed grass, rain, and fresh baked bread are wonderful. And Dreamsicles! I wonder how they get them to smell exactly orange?

So, freshly laundered shirts still smell good. I have it on good authority that women like the smell of freshly laundered shirts, too. I listen, you see, when people think I'm just being goofy. Not that I really want to impress women, there aren't any close enough to me to impress. But still, who wants to smell like Mr. Stinky Shirt? Not me, that's for sure.

I put 2 tablespoons of my laundry soap in Mr. Wonder, wonder, wonder Wash, filled it up with a quart of hot water, and stuffed six shirts into it. That's about all it might hold, though I'm tempted to go further. I know it'll hold 2 trousers (ha! Not pair of jeans!). Then I filled it up to about 2/3 of the way with more hot water, until the shirts were just barely covered. I tightened the pressure lid on it and cranked my little heart out.

Well, not really. It only takes about 3 minutes worth of cranking to get things clean. If you crank fairly steadily, one crank per second, that's only 180 cranks, so all is good.

Then I drained the shirts, rinsed them under the tub faucet, tossed them back into Wonder Wash and filled it again up to about 2/3rds with hot water. For those counting, that's about 3 1/2 quarts of water.

I cranked for 2 minutes and poured them all out, water and all. They was done, and they was clean! They were cleaner than the laundry mat had even done. It pulled those 'ring around the collar' stains right out! And I used a really cheap brand of laundry soap, too.

Next time, though, I'm gonna buy some Borax (20 mule team, HO!), Washing Soda (not baking soda - two different animals - though you can make washing soda using Soda Ash and baking soda... soda ash, by the way is how you make bar soap. Animal fat, Soda Ash, water, a bit of smell good stuff and heat. And time. Lots of time. And stirring. Lots of stirring.) and some Zote Soap - which is this pink soap made in Mexico for washing clothes with. It's right down here at my local Warehouse Market. And it's pink. Really, really pink. Flaming Flamingo Pink. Florida would adopt this soap as its state soap, it is just that pink. Mixing the Zote, Borax and Washing Soda together makes your own soap. And you can make it liquidy like - more gel-like, which sounds kinda disgusting, or you can make it powerdy, depending on the recipe you use.

Super low phosphate and easily bio-degradable. It's green folks! Green, I tell you! Here's the instructions for making your own GREEN, powdered laundry soap Homemade Laundry Soap is here!

Oh, and for the soda(Washing Soda AKA soda ash AKA sodium carbonate available in some grocery stores made by Arm and Hammer or you may find it art supply stores in the dyeing section), you might be able to use Baking soda, if you cook it in the oven for 4 hours at 450 degrees. Not exactly cost efficient. I've also learned that Washing Soda is also used by Pool Cleaners, and might be able to be picked up at a Pool Supply store, under the name Sodium Carbonate.

You can even add your favorite essential oil to the mix and make it smell even better than freshly laundered shirts. I wonder... is there an essential oil that smells like fresh baked brownies?

Oh yeah! In keeping with my growning older (yes, I meant to spell it like that), I also tossed out a bunch of stuff that I was going "What the hell is this and what the hell am I holding onto it for?" Darned Cancerian nature.


My house is much cleaner. Maybe now I can write something.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-27 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capi.livejournal.com
What an amazing and remarkable post!

*whistling low* Will you jist lookit them there biceps on that guy? Must be doing his own laundry!

*grin*

Serious, what kind of pink/green soap you been sniffin', lil' brother? You seem.... well, who am i to complain? I'm DELIGHTED that you are so curmudgeonly playfully happy today. *Beam* All is right with the world.

And who knew you could cram two full pairs o' jeans in that machine? I feel SO much better, knowing that. Seriously. I never would have believed it. Fully half of my hesitation just evaporated! You are so da bomb. (((( squish )))) And six shirts? DOOD! I could prolly do twelve, since you don't likely wear these tank-top things. *LOL* And i never HAVE that many. How very cool is that??!!

Thank you thank you! My day is totally made. I can rest soundly this night.......

Wait. What did you throw away? *giggle*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-28 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joegoda.livejournal.com
IT is highly recommended that the Zote soap is NOT sniffed. Ever. It's just icky.

I seem to have run into a block writing BP&G, sis. I can start, but the ideas just dry up. It's a tough part. Not a lot of action, and I'm just not up to describing the sights that are seen because... well, I can't SEE them myself. I'm sure that time will fix it, but for now, it's frustrating.

Yep, Mr. Wonder Wash handled 2 trousers without much problem. You just had to, as you said, CRAM them into it. Be warned, though... it takes almost a gallon and a half of water and 2 tablespoons of soap!

I put undershirts, tank tops and the like in the area of underthings. Likes socks. You can probably put a whole bunch into the Wonder Wash. I'm finding that I can sit and read and crank at the same time. AND, the more you crank, the cleaner things get. Plus, once more into the Washer, after a brief rinsing, will pull out the remaining soap and dirty water. It's a pretty nifty gift and the most useful one I've had in a long time. Thanks, Sis!

I tossed out a bunch of small stuff from the hobby table near the kitchen and from the yellow baskets on top of the bookcases. Just junk, really. Old receipts, lists of things over a month old... just clutter. Next week, I may toss out some really old computer cases, after I cannibalize them for hard drives and ram and such.

Love you, Sis!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-06-28 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capi.livejournal.com
*grin* Love you right back!! Clean shirts and all! I'm delighted you are enjoying your low-tech washing machine. *hee*

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