I've never had a good memory... well, not since the First Divorce, which occured when i was eleven. I was pretty sharp before that. *snort* Trauma minces things up pretty well.
But even so, i was not *stupid*. I found new ways of filing things so i could find them... most of the time.
Still, not a *good* memory.
And when i became ill, a decade and more ago, it got RADICALLY worse. The more tired and ill i am, the worse it is. I have memories now of things that never happened at all and no memories of things that did. Like life has become a hallucination and i cannot rely on my own brain.
Not only is that massively frustrating, as you say, it's *scary*. I totally relate, my friend. I've said, "My brain is full!" many times.... but of course, that is not really true. Our brains are amazing things and we don't use even half of them.
The wiring.... it's a problem with the wiring, i'm sure of it. *sigh* I need a really good electrician. *LOL*
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-28 04:02 pm (UTC)I've never had a good memory... well, not since the First Divorce, which occured when i was eleven. I was pretty sharp before that. *snort* Trauma minces things up pretty well.
But even so, i was not *stupid*. I found new ways of filing things so i could find them... most of the time.
Still, not a *good* memory.
And when i became ill, a decade and more ago, it got RADICALLY worse. The more tired and ill i am, the worse it is. I have memories now of things that never happened at all and no memories of things that did. Like life has become a hallucination and i cannot rely on my own brain.
Not only is that massively frustrating, as you say, it's *scary*. I totally relate, my friend. I've said, "My brain is full!" many times.... but of course, that is not really true. Our brains are amazing things and we don't use even half of them.
The wiring.... it's a problem with the wiring, i'm sure of it. *sigh* I need a really good electrician. *LOL*