Justin stone laughed... (( you know, you really otter capitalize (capitolize?) the poor rich boys NAME)) *snort* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Now," Justin continued, "if you were to heat the park, what would happen to all the snow? It would melt and you wouldn't hear the happy laughter of children. You'd hear the grumbles of pedestrians, slogging through the much that the snow melt caused." (( ... thru the much? the mush? something like that?)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The two stood for a while, quietly looking down at the world from on high. Jonathan ran an absent hand....
Uh... i like what you MEANT to say here. But think about what you actually DID say. *Snort* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Moldy Basement?" Jonathan exclaimed, puffing his cheeks in and out, like an angry garden gnome. ((Delightful characterization imagery!! Love it!!)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In fact, Mother of Mercy was very grateful to their benefactor, and so when Justin asked for a small space in which to do research, both medical and scientific, the naturally agreed. (( the? or they?)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh! OH OH OH! A *party!* A STORY! Let's GO!!!!!! *wheeeeee*
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-05 01:58 am (UTC)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Now," Justin continued, "if you were to heat the park, what would happen to all the snow? It would melt and you wouldn't hear the happy laughter of children. You'd hear the grumbles of pedestrians, slogging through the much that the snow melt caused." (( ... thru the much? the mush? something like that?))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two stood for a while, quietly looking down at the world from on high. Jonathan ran an absent hand....
Uh... i like what you MEANT to say here. But think about what you actually DID say. *Snort*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Moldy Basement?" Jonathan exclaimed, puffing his cheeks in and out, like an angry garden gnome. ((Delightful characterization imagery!! Love it!!))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In fact, Mother of Mercy was very grateful to their benefactor, and so when Justin asked for a small space in which to do research, both medical and scientific, the naturally agreed. (( the? or they?))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh! OH OH OH! A *party!* A STORY! Let's GO!!!!!! *wheeeeee*