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Today, the 3rd day of work, was a better day. I'm not depressed, not even terribly sad and lonely. Still kinda blah, though. I wonder if God was like this? In his journal did he write "3rd day.. created. something or other.. I forget what .. still feeling blah.. am I doing the right thing? What if I screw up?" Probably not.. if he did screw up, who would be looking to say "Hey! You screwed up!" I mean, if nobody was there to tell us.. if nobody at all was around, would we know that we screwed up.. would we care? Would it matter? Probably not.
My good friend Chinchilla is on my mind a lot. She's a dear person that has a place in my heart so deep that it keeps me warm in the coldest freeze. I really don't know why... maybe I need some warmth. And yes, I love her very very much. She deserves it..she saved me from a depth of myself that was very scary, one that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to climb out of by myself. She sat there and talked to me, led me on some great adventures, and helped me kill some demons. She listened to this old man while he babbled some stories from out of his feverish brain. She loves slimy things that I wouldn't even touch, frogs, lizards, things like that. And milk.. she loves milk. Such an odd and wonderful person. Knowing her is like having a rainbow in my pocket all the time. She lives in the land known as California, a place that if I ever go to visit, it will be to visit her. And she's on my mind a lot recently. Hugs, Ms. Bear!
I'm feeling better about the job. I don't know why.. but I feel more settled in it. I do think I have half the solution. At my old job, I had lots of folks that knew me and loved me and appreciated (applauded) me when I walked in the door. It was like being on stage. Now, there's no stage. Just me and no applause. Guess I'll have to get used to doing a solo act. And I'm getting used to it gradually. But I'm still sending out those resumes.... bound to be another stage out there.
Linda called and told me that if I wanted to take some time off and just dissapear for a while, I could put all my tonnes of antiques in storage and go visit up there (Eureka Springs) for a while. Very tempting, the offer to fall off the face of the Earth. I may just do it, who knows? But not for a while yet..
Anyway, I'm tired.. I need a shower.. and then a bed. Life, at it's very best is odd.. Life at it's very worst is still odd.
Chester Beebe
House of the Singing Waters.
My good friend Chinchilla is on my mind a lot. She's a dear person that has a place in my heart so deep that it keeps me warm in the coldest freeze. I really don't know why... maybe I need some warmth. And yes, I love her very very much. She deserves it..she saved me from a depth of myself that was very scary, one that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to climb out of by myself. She sat there and talked to me, led me on some great adventures, and helped me kill some demons. She listened to this old man while he babbled some stories from out of his feverish brain. She loves slimy things that I wouldn't even touch, frogs, lizards, things like that. And milk.. she loves milk. Such an odd and wonderful person. Knowing her is like having a rainbow in my pocket all the time. She lives in the land known as California, a place that if I ever go to visit, it will be to visit her. And she's on my mind a lot recently. Hugs, Ms. Bear!
I'm feeling better about the job. I don't know why.. but I feel more settled in it. I do think I have half the solution. At my old job, I had lots of folks that knew me and loved me and appreciated (applauded) me when I walked in the door. It was like being on stage. Now, there's no stage. Just me and no applause. Guess I'll have to get used to doing a solo act. And I'm getting used to it gradually. But I'm still sending out those resumes.... bound to be another stage out there.
Linda called and told me that if I wanted to take some time off and just dissapear for a while, I could put all my tonnes of antiques in storage and go visit up there (Eureka Springs) for a while. Very tempting, the offer to fall off the face of the Earth. I may just do it, who knows? But not for a while yet..
Anyway, I'm tired.. I need a shower.. and then a bed. Life, at it's very best is odd.. Life at it's very worst is still odd.
Chester Beebe
House of the Singing Waters.
